Saturday, November 20, 2010
Ideal: don't go out, if possible, stay at home is e best. No request no trouble. They see you means u r safe. Nv see u means u r not safe. So do wadeva within their sight
this is e onli way they can confirmed that u r safe.
Wad does that sounds like?? Robots. Exactly. U dun have to go out. But wads e product?? People like me n hy. I can totally understand how she feels. Being in e control of her parents. N for e fact she is worst than me. Yea. Protection is gd. But over protection is not gd. Furthermore we r 18 19 alr!! We can't always be in their protection. We have to learn to grow n spread our wings and fly!! But the problem is we can't. We aren't happy being kite. We can't reach e sky. They ain't releasing the strings. People can fly high n free. It's true. We still depend on our parents and e string is wad kept us there. But e problem is we ain't high n free. We r still at a distance where e string release can't let us enjoy our stuff. They r jux to afraid to let us go. Being rebelious is probably e onli way to grow in such scenario. But apparently, we ain't. That's y we dun really grow. Always being kept in the protection, I always feel stupid. Really. Missing out e childhood times. Tbh, my parents ask me go out i rather stay at home. I dun feel comfortable going out with them. Plus. I dun have e habit. (my father is more up to date then my mum can!) They have missed out my growing times. To e extent they didn't even noe my change. I changed years ago. N my mum onli realised I changed years after. I meant my taste n preference. They prefer me to stay at home. Home home home. That's e onli place where they thought it is safe. Well, it's not say accident can happen at home. Haha.
Tbh, I will feeldamn happy if my cousin come out n stay for sometime:DD it will be fun I guess. Hehe. But quite impossible
ppl like to talk to my mama. But we apparently don't. Wel. It's own daughter. Of ca e way she talk is different can!! So different!! Oh well. Heck.
Shall write till here!! Bye!!
7:31 PM
Friday, November 12, 2010
wow!!! it really has been a long time since i last blog.. but i dun really care. why? caz i doubt anyone actually read my blog! i doubt so.. oh well. haha.
A level started this week.. 3 more weeks to go n 6 more papers to be done... lolx. on average abt 2 per week? lolx. quite slack.. but if u realized its draggy too! Worst thing? a week later its prom! means.. i onli have one week to go shopping shopping shopping... but luckily for me, after my 2nd last paper, i will have a 6 days break be4 i do my last a level paper n i will be free after that:D:D i could start my shopping during the 6 weeks... hhaha..
well, from e last post till now, some things changed.
I m now over with the r/s problem. no point crying feeling bad over it. well, i will give most of my credits to my beloved babe:D it jux all happen one fine afternoon that we went for lunch and talk abt rubbish!! lolx. our niche conver:D then we suddenly talk abt everything. and it set me thinking and realized so many things why i shldnt dwell over the relationship. if not for her, i wont talk abt this thing and realize there are many things that tells me to get over it! really. its amazing. but of caz. i didnt get over it immediate. haha. i took quite sometime to actually have e courage to let it go. it really takes courage to do it. i swear. not onli do u need the courage to confess and accept a relationship. but it really takes alot of courage to let it go when e other person keep giving u false info. well, i realize i m quite stupid to be affect by those things which eventually i realize some of them are not true. yes. i m a free person now. and of caz. we r friends now. i feel much comfortable talking to him now though. compared to those days. haha. i accidentally read some of the conversation we shared and i realized how much things changed jux by saying a word I AGREE! It jux changed everything. but of caz. i dun regret. its one of the best memories i have. lolx. i learnt lots of new things, went to places i would nv go with my family, do many things for the first time. but probably i would safely say, we r better off being friends:) but i m glad u r still willing to be my friends:D i would definitely treasure this friendship^^
and i felt like i was alien in sch. well. sch is so big n i doubt i even noe 1/4 of the the j2 population. haha. well mb i could count to e max of 100 or sld i say i even have a problem of counting till 100? well, idk. haha.
awkward situation: well, due to some reasons, person A and me arent enemy but we arent friends anymore. lets not dwell into the cause. though i dont noe if A hates me or not. but i noe A has no intention of being friends anymore ( probably y i hate this two years. caz sch kinda sucks?) walking out of the sch with B. B also noes A. then saw A outside sch near e gate. B said bye to A. (according to B, A gave e shocked face and say bye still) i stood down there didnt noe wad to do at all! i swear. well, no point turning over to smile. i mean like, he dread seeing me i bet. if he could, i guess he would kill me! but its so rude to jux pretend i dunno e person B called out to. but still, i looked straight and continue to walk. its so awkward!! arghx.. TBH, i hate this kind of situation. i m an introvert afterall. (many wont agree though... haha)
p.s, i dun mind being friends with him again though^^i didnt dare to think of life after As! i probably dread thinking abt it anw. haha. didnt wan to:( i onli had activities till mid dec. and no more. needa find job and many more. man! first time i m working!
today isnt a good day anw. i could sign in to msn. i could sign in to blogger. i could read blogs. but i cant sign in to hotmail. i couldnt sign in to fb. irony. i lost marks in math paper caz of my dumb brain:( i lost my ezlink card:( wad else? i called e hotline to report but apparently, it was closed. and e site didnt write e operation hours. zzz. wads next?
wanted to update sth. but i forgot in jux a second... serious stm i have. trying hard to recall, but nth comes to my head. oh i rmb. lolx. but its really stupid.
had math paper 2 today. e paper jux started barely 15 mins my tummy was growling alr!! i m like super hungry:( couldnt concentrate so i drank water. finished paper abt 45 mins be4 times up ( which i was freaking scared that i didnt lots of careless mistakes...) my tummy contracted. its really hurts alot n i need to go to e toilet!! as i jux finished my paper, i wanted to check. so i hold on! its was torturous! my tummy made alot of noise. u noe, like when ur tummy got lots of air n make those sounds in ur tummy but didnt burp? after a long while, i looked at e clock. MAN 30 MORE MINS TO GO!!! n my tummy still hurts like nobody's business.!! still, i didnt go to e toilet. after another longg while, i looked at e clock. 20 more mins!!! omg!! i swear the e time is crawling can!! omg.. it was unbearable... even that last min took damn long to pass..omg.. after that, i had to wait for e invigilator to collect to count and do e necessary stuff! omg. i was cursing and swearing all e time. haha.. finally they say u may leave now. i rush out of the class took my bag n rush to e toilet.. haha. after which my tummy cramp like mad!! ALMOST CRIED OK! its really painful! wad a stupid experience...
6:34 PM
